Total Insanity
by Carie and Jess Da Psychos
Summary: [Chapter 7 up!] Result of the two most hyper people in Balamb, Selphie Tillmett and Zell Dincht, having kids. R&R Please! All flames will be fed to the flying, communist monkeys in Carie's basement! Muwah hah hah!
1. Prolouge

disclaimer: squaresoft owns final fantasy 8, carie owns herself, and jess owns herself. a/n [jess]: hm, well, this is the product of two strangely insane people. hm, enjoy! a/n [carie]: selvine readers beware! --- Prolouge  
  
Zell Dincht and Selphie Tillmit, Balamb's two most hyper people. No one ever expected that they'd get together, let alone married; no one at all. It was a shock to most people in the beginning; Selphie was reportedly engaged to Irvine, the self-proclaimed ladies man. However, after finding him dating other women, she broke it off with Irvine. She found comfort in her old friend Zell, who had also just, broke up with his girlfriend.  
  
Yes, after that whole mess with the sorceress, Zell hooked up with the girl who worked in the library and had a major crush on him. But after finding out they had little in common, and she found Zell to be quite annoying they broke up. Shortly after their break ups Selphie and Zell began dating. No one thought their relationship would last. However they dated for almost two years when Zell finally proposed. It had been a simple ceremony in Balamb with a few people there. The two had never been so happy. Again no one thought the marriage would last.  
  
A few months after they were married...  
  
"ZELL! We're gonna have kids!" Selphie shouted from the bathroom.  
  
The spikey blonde haired young man stepped into the bathroom behind his new bride.  
  
"What did you say?" he asked the brunette woman before him.  
  
"I said, "We're gonna have kids"!" She exclaimed excitedly.  
  
"NOW?!" he asked in shock, causing Selphie to giggle.  
  
"No, Zell. I'm pregnant," she squealed happily.  
  
"Y-you're pregnant?" he stuttered in disbelief.  
  
"Yes, silly, I'm pregnant!"  
  
Zell fainted right then and there, and Selphie stood over him looking at him. She blinked a few times as he twitched in shock.  
  
A few months passed with regular trips to the doctor and lots of parenting classes. It wasn't until 6 months later that they knew...  
  
"You're going to have twins," Dr. Kadowaki stated.  
  
"T-twins?" Zell asked.  
  
"TWINS!" Selphie shouted happily.  
  
Zell and Selphie had been frantically shopping, preparing for the arrival of the new twins. They walked aimlessly down another aisle of yet another baby store.  
  
"They're boys, I just know they are," Zell said, picking up some stuffed footballs and other items intended for boys.  
  
"How do YOU know its gonna be boys?" asked Selphie skeptically.  
  
"Because, I can feel it. Just watch. You'll see! Yeah, I'll teach 'em martial arts." He looked at Selphie. "They'll be the greatest fighters of all time!"  
  
Selphie rolled here eyes. "Well, I think it'll be twin GIRLS!"  
  
Zell set the football down. "Yeah, and what makes you so sure?"  
  
She smiled mischievously. "The doctor's report."  
  
"WHAT?!?!" Zell shouted, causing people to look at him like he was insane. "That's what it says," she said with a grin. "Selphie Tillmit will be giving birth to two twin girls. Expected on the date of Friday, October 13."  
  
Zell stood, mouth open in utter disbelief. Little did he know that this would be the beginning of total insanity. 


	2. Pick a Name! Any Name!

disclaimer: We dun own it...Except Carie & Jess. Yeeaah. -- Chpater 1: Pick A Name, Any Name!  
  
Weeks went by after Zell and Selphie learned of they're soon-to-come twin girls. There was much excitement - on Selphie's part. Zell, on the other hand, was still moping because they weren't boys.  
  
"Com'on Zell stop moping and help me pick out some names for our girls." Selphie said, sick of Zell's whining over the sex of their expected children.  
  
"What if the doctor made a mistake. I mean how can she know for SURE its girls."  
  
"ZELL, THEY'RE GIRLS GET OVER IT!!!" Selphie screamed. She had done that alot lately. Screaming at Zell and various other things, especially the inanimate ones. She was no longer happy, overly hyper Selphie. She was now the tired, angry, pregnant Selphie. She was, on occasion happy, overly hyper Selphie, but it was mostly tired, angry, pregnant. "NOW HELP ME PICK OUT NAMES!"  
  
"Yes dear," he replied, fearing physical abuse.  
  
"Right!" She said returning to happy Selphie again, with her book she got out of her chair and waddled over to sit with her husband. The husband and wife sat curled up together and looking over baby names.  
  
"Man so many names it hard to choose," Zell stated.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Selphie slamming the book closed. "Let's just come up with our own, screw this book."  
  
"Yeah okay. How about Owen? Owen's a good name." Zell suggested, Selphie glared.  
  
"GIRLS NAMES!" yelled Selphie.  
  
"I'm just saying, incase the doctor made a mistake." Selphie continued to glare, till something came to her.  
  
"How about... Carie? Carie was my best friends name when I was first at Tribia Garden."  
  
Zell paused a moment and thought it over. "Yeah! I like it!" he agreed, more afraid not to.  
  
"Good!" Selphie smiled happily. "Now you can name the other one."  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yeah, I name one you name the other. Okay."  
  
"Alright." Zell thought for a while. "hmmm... I know! Jess! I always liked that name."  
  
"Hmmm........Jess.... " Zell hoped his wife would approve. "I love it. Carie and Jess Dincht," Selphie said happily. -- REVIEW PLEASE! 


	3. Friday The 13th

Friday The 13th  
  
Zell paced the dim hallways of the hospital with one thing on his mind: The two baby girls being born right that very moment. Carie and Jess Dincht. His own baby girls. He was a mix of nervous, axious, and frightened.  
  
He looked up as the doors burst open and the doctor strode out, grinning.  
  
"Mr. Dincht? You may go see your girls, and your wife," she said happily. His face lit up as he bolted down the hall to see his wife.  
  
A tired Selphie lay on the bed holding two girls. Both were bald, and both looked almost the same. There was really only one way to tell them apart, and that was by their eyes. One had sparkling green eyes, while the other had a dark brown.  
  
She smiled at Zell. "Well, which is which?" she asked.  
  
"Well..." he gazed into the green-eyed baby girl. "Can the one with green eyes be Jess?"  
  
Selphie smiled. "I like that. And the brown-eyed one is Carie. My friend in Trabia, Carie, had brown eyes."  
  
"Decided?" the doctor asked.  
  
Zell and Selphie nodded, and the doctor completed the birth certificates.  
  
-Two Years Later-  
  
Selphie swallowed another Ibuprofen as she looked at the two girls. Jess was sitting contently with a doll whose head was half chopped off, and Carie sat contently stabbing a Barney doll to death, with a toy spoon.  
  
"Aren't they just little angels?!" Zell beamed.  
  
"Oh, yes," Selphie nodded in agreement while turning to see her husband and two visitors.  
  
"They're beautiful!" cried Rinoa as she rushed over and picked up Carie, who was still killing the Barney doll.  
  
"Yeah..." Squall said as he bent down and picked up Jess, who was proceeding onto killing her doll.  
  
"COMMUNIST!!!!" Carie screeched as she whacked Rinoa with the Barney doll.  
  
"Aaawww! How cute!" Rinoa giggled.  
  
"SHE SAID HER FIRST WORD!" Zell yelled.  
  
"Zell, her first word was 'communist'," Selphie said, looking at Carie with a bit of concern.  
  
"COMMUNIST COMMUNIST COMMUNIST!" Carie continued screeching the word and bashing Rinoa with the Barney doll.  
  
Jess was smilling and clapping as if cheering on her sister. Selphie rushed over and snatched the two girls up.  
  
"Maybe it's time for a nap..."  
  
"COMMUNIST!!" Carie continued to squeal, trying to hit Rinoa again with her half dead purple dinosaur, as her mother took her and her sister to their room. Selphie laid both of her girls into their crib and closed to door.  
  
"EVIL!" Jess cried shaking her tiny fist at her mother as she was walking out the room. Selphie stopped and observed the little green eyed child that glared and shook her fist. Carie watched her sister's actions and laughed. Selphie sighed and left the room, wonder what she was thinking when she had the twins. 


	4. Three Years Later

a/n [jess]: reviews make me happy. okay, some guy asked where we got the names "carie and jess"? okay, well, my name is jessica (i prefer jess), and carie's name is um....carie. we're using ourselves. oki, enough babble. read and review.  
  
disclaimer: DUH!!!  
  
Three Years Later  
  
"Do you think this is a good idea?" Zell asked his wife. Both parents' eyes were bloodshot and had rather large bags beneath them. "I mean letting them loose on a group of five year olds with only one adult? There will be only be one outcome in all this and it's not a good one."  
  
Zell carried a kicking and screaming Carie while Selphie tried to fight the wriggling bound of brown, curly hair. They approached a large brick building with the words "Happy Land Kindergarden."  
  
"Zell, I don't care about the outcome, as long as they are outta my hair for 3 hours, I don't really care if they took over the world. I need sleep damnit!" shrieked and obviously tired Selphie.  
  
Finally they walked into the large building where a dozen other children were running around and building with blocks. Carie and Jess watched the other children with amazement. Just then, a young woman, obviously the teacher, approached them.  
  
"Hello I'm Miss Annathen. You must be Mr. and Mrs. Dincht!" she said cheerfully.  
  
"Must we?" muttered Selphie, unheard by the teacher.  
  
"And this must be Carie and Jess," the teacher cooed Both girls looked up at the woman and smiled sweetly, giving Miss Annathen the most angelic eyes.  
  
"Aww such sweet girls....Yhey must be prefect angels." Zell scoffed. "You must be so proud."  
  
"Yeah, insanely," Selphie remarked, slightly rolling her eyes.  
  
"Well, we'll be seeing you both at noon." she said, smilling. Zell and Selphie took it as their cue to exit and ran.  
  
As soon as Miss Annathen closed the door, there was a strange commotion within the classroom.  
  
*** Hours Later ***  
  
Zell and Selphie arrived at the school to collect their children; looking refreshed (to some extent). They walked into the classroom, and it was almost totally empty. Except for the mounds of toys everywhere, hand prints and globs of paint everywhere.  
  
"I told you this wasn't a good idea!" Zell whispered-shrieked to his wife and they cautiously walked though the disarrayed room.  
  
"Miss Annathen?" Selphie called. "Miss Annathen?!"  
  
They made their way to the teacher's desk. There, curled up in a semi-fetal position, was Miss Annathen, rocking back and forth muttering something to herself.  
  
"Miss Annathen?What happened? Who did this?" Asked Selphie, as if she didn't already know.  
  
The women gave no response but only pointed to the corner of the room, where Carie and Jess lay asleep. Zell and Selphie approached the girls with caution. There they lay peacefully asleep. Their faces painted like primitive warriors, and through the pile of black, blue, purple, and orange crayons lay pictures.  
  
One was of a girl with a mound of messy brown curls atop her head holding a lighter in her right hand and a cat, by its tail, in her left. She was grinning evily, and scrawled in a 5-year-old's writing was the words "rest in peese kittee!"  
  
Selphie muffled a gasp as Zell picked up yet another picture. It was a girl with a display of unruly, black hair sticking from her head. She was holding what looked like a plastic fork in her hands as she loomed over a cat. Scrawled at the bottom of this picture was "kittee kat go bai bai!"  
  
They looked back down at the two girls, fearing what might happen next. 


	5. Detention

"It seems, Mrs. Dincht, that Carie and Jess have a habit of...Torturing fifth graders with plastic sporks," said a tall, dusty-haired man, roughly in his late 40's.  
  
Selphie massaged her temples. "Oh?"  
  
"Girls, care to explain?"  
  
The two girls sat in matching leather chairs. One had dark brown hair that was braided in 10 tiny braids about her head. The other brown-headed girl's hair was done back into a ponytail. The dark brown-haired girl wore a black tee shirt that read "Go away… And Stay There." over a long black shirt with flames up the side of the arms and long baggy black denim pants with pockets everywhere. The other one wore a black T-shirt that boldly stated, in bright, blue letters, the words, "Bite Me! I Dare You!", and a simple pair of flared blue jeans.  
  
"No, sir," they said in unison.  
  
"Mrs. Dincht, this isn't the first problem we've had with the girls."  
  
"Mr. Brookes, you're not the first to complain." He raised an eyebrow. "Well, what else have they done?"  
  
Mr. Brookes hesitated. "Well, numerous things. I caught Jess burning pieces of paper in the back corner of the library with a Zippo lighter. I've caught Carie writing things on the walls in the Girls' restroom. I've caught both of them ganging up on innocent fifth graders, threatening them with plastic sporks." Jess looked over to Carie, trying to supress a giggle. "That's not all."  
  
"I'm not sure I want to hear the rest," Selphie said.  
  
Mr. Brookes nodded. "Maybe," he started, "a week or two's worth of detention would be in order?"  
  
"Sounds like a plan!" Selphie said, relived to hear someone speak a solution.  
  
--Next Day--  
  
Carie looked over to Jess. "Guess we have detention after this, huh?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Yup. Sure do!"  
  
"CARIE! JESS! QUIET!" boomed their 8th period Study Hall director, Mr. Albett. They giggled.  
  
Carie set to reading her favorite magazine, Insane Peoples Monthly, while Jess went about drawing. The minutes passed slowly until the bell rang. The two rolled their eyes and grabbed their things.  
  
"What did we do again? I saw nothing wrong with it..." Jess said as they marched down the hallway.  
  
"Aw, hell if I know. It's the commies, man. The commies!" Carie replied.  
  
"Yeah. So true, man. So true."  
  
"So, how we gonna go 'bout raisin' hell in there today?"  
  
"Hm...I dunno. We could have a staged fight." Jess suggested.  
  
"I have a better idea. Do you still have those fake blood pouches, capsules and what not in your locker?" Jess nodded. "Okay here's what we're gonna do…." Carie said as her and Jess walked to their lockers  
  
Carie and Jess sat side by side in the front row of the detention room. The room was filled with only three other students one asleep and the others slowly being driven insane by boredom.   
  
Jess looked to Carie and nodded, and she acknowledged. Carie removed her hand out of her long sleeve, it was covered in face green veins, and began twitching uncontrollably.   
  
The hand moved violently, the teacher took notice. Carie tried to control her possessed right hand with her left, but to now avail, as the hand punched Carie hard in the jaw.   
  
"Oh my God not again!" Jess squealed as the hand continued to beat on Carie, blood oozing from her mouth.   
  
"What is it?" The teacher asked in concern.   
  
"Her hand!! It's possessed again and trying to kill her!" Jess cried. The teacher as well as the rest of the class watched as Carie struggled with her 'possessed' hand on the floor. Jess quickly ran to her sister to help and pry the hand from off her sister. The classroom watched in horror as Jess grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the hand. Carie let out a loud piercing cry.  
  
  
  
"You son of a bitch…" Carie said sitting up and pulling the fake hand out of her sleeve, "That was my best fake hand!!" Everyone began laughing in hysterics, that is, everyone but the teacher. 


	6. Shipping Off

Shipping Off {Three Years Later}  
  
"Girls!" Selphie screamed at her two twin daughters. " How many times must I tell you NOT to torture the neighbors' cat!" Carie and Jess both hung their heads and closed up their Zippo lighters.   
  
"But, he tried to scratch Jess," Carie whined.   
  
"I'm sure its because you two were harassing it. Now turn it loose," Selphie demanded. Jess opened her mouth to protest. "NOW!" Selphie screamed. Both girls nodded and cut the ropes that the cat was tied up with. The prisoner ran off in a hurry afraid to look back.   
  
"I just don't know how to deal with them anymore, Zell. I try but I just can't deal with it. They're driving me insane," Selphie said to her husband later that night.  
  
"Well…" Zell began.  
  
"And I'm not the only one. They're driving everyone nuts. Those fifth graders they tortured back when they were eighth graders," Zell nodded, "some are still terrified of them. They have way too much aggression but no real outlet for it."  
  
"Well, the only solution I can come up with is sending them to Balamb Garden Military Academy," Zell said.  
  
"Oh Zell what a terrific idea, putting our children in a place where there are weapons galore. Great idea, Zell!" Selphie said sarcastically.  
  
"Well, do you have any better ideas? Hey, it might straighten them out. I mean, I was rambunctious before I went there and look at me now!" Zell claimed.   
  
Selphie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose in hopes to prevent the small migraine from growing any bigger. "Fine, Zell, but you break the news to them."  
  
"I don't be-fucking-lieve this goddamn communism! Military school! What have we done to deserve such a cruel punishment!" Carie groaned lighting a cigarette and taking a long drag. She offered it to Jess, who accepted and inhaled the smoke. The two girls sat out on the curb, their father had just told them they were being shipped off the Garden.  
  
"We haven't done nothing wrong, our parents have just gone insane. Or, it's some communist's plot against us," Jess growled shaking her fist and handing the cig back to Carie.   
  
"Damn Commies," Carie muttered shaking her fist at nothing.   
  
"Zell, I really don't think this is a good idea. Sending them to Garden, I mean," Selphie commented as the couple watched their daughters sit out on the curb.   
  
"C'mon, babe, what's the worse that could happen?" Zell asked.  
  
"How many reasons would you like?" Selphie retorted in a deathly snarl.  
  
~*~  
  
Authors' notes: Thankyou all so much for the reviews. It makes us two very happy psychos. [Jess: I remember after we posted the first chapter, Carie emailing me and saying hurry up with the next chapter, they want more! It was fun.]   
  
Special Note To Soul 141: Well, we're sorry that you don't like it. Our opinion, not yours. If you don't like it, please don't read it. Thanku. 


	7. Welcome To Garden

Welcome To Garden  
  
---  
  
The day was gloomy. The sky was gray, signaling that bad weather was afoot as Carie and Jess walked up the long gravel pathway up to Garden. Both girls hummed the Death March as their parents ushered them to the large building.   
  
Jess shot a forlorn look to her twin and sighed. The two marched thru the gates and to the main entrance. A loud clap of thunder shot off into the distance as the guard cleaned their entrance. The girls gulped as they were drug further into the Garden.  
  
"Oh, Hyne, uniforms!! They're trying to conform us, Jess! What communism..." Carie cried fakely on her sister's shoulder.  
  
"Stop complaining," Selphie snapped and dragged Carie on. Jess shot her sister a sympathetic look.  
  
Later that day, they stood in their dorm trying on their uniforms.  
  
Jess scrunched up her face as she looked at herself in the mirror in the room she shared with her sister. Their parents had left hours ago. "These damn uniforms are so fucking itchy," she complained.   
  
Carie walked over "Yeah, and the whole style is so wrong."  
  
"Indeed." Jess agreed. "We look so alike, do you think we'll be mistaken for one another?"  
  
"God I hope not." Carie grumbled adjusting her uniform.  
  
Jess's face lit up. "But, say they did." Carie suddenly looked interested. "We could cause utter insanity."  
  
"How?" Carie asked curiously.  
  
"Like, confuse everyone. I be you, you be me. We could so totally mess with the teachers' heads."  
  
"But our eye colors are different." Carie pointed out. "So if may not work as well, ya know."  
  
"True..." Jess sighed.  
  
The rest of their gloomy day was spent unpacking and getting settled. As the two finally finished, a beeping noise filled the room, followed by a very loud voice.  
  
"Will Carie and Jess Dincht please come to the headmaster's office? I repeat, will Carie and Jess Dincht please come to the headmaster's office? That is all."  
  
Carie turned to Jess and grinned. "Looks like we're already in trouble."  
  
"I hate when they take all the fun outta it," Jess sighed.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Punish us before we cause the trouble, damn communist psychics." Jess muttered shaking her fist.  
  
"Yeah, I hate when mom does that! It's so unfair." Carie commented.  
  
The two trudged to the elevator and made their way up. It stopped on the third floor and they stepped out. A lady with black hair sat at the desk.  
  
"Commander Leonhart would like to see you two," she said, gesturing to the door.  
  
"Who?" Carie looked to Jess who shrugged then back to the lady.  
  
"Yeah, the name sounds familiar," Jess whispered to Carie.  
  
Jess and Carie stepped thru the door where a man sat behind a desk. He was about 5'11", and he had brown hair. His eyes were a stony blue color. Both girls stared in awe at the handsome looking man. Carie wiped the drool that cascaded down her chin with her sleeve. Jess shivered slightly at the man's utter handsomeness.  
  
"Well, it's been a while since I've seen you two," the man started. Carie and Jess shot each other looks of confusion. "But, I knew from the first time I saw you that both of you were trouble. And I was right. You best not cause any trouble around here, 'cos punishment is much stricter. Now, down to the matter of it, here are your class schedules." He handed both girls a sheet of paper.  
  
"I hope to be punished by him a lot." Carie said wickedly as they left the office.  
  
"Yeah," agreed Jess, "cruel and unusual would be nice." The girls went off laughing receiving glares from the secretary and a raven hair woman sitting in the waiting room .  
  
That night the two sat in their dorms. Carie was seated on the couch pealing a banana as Jess sat on the floor eating an apple.  
  
"So what's you schedule?" Jess asked thru a mouth full of apple.  
  
Carie whipped out her schedule. "First period weapon training, second period GF instruction, third period Magic lessons, fourth period Field training, fifth period lunch, sixth period free/training center, and seventh period study hall. What about you?"  
  
Jess stared at hers. "Um....I have first period weapon training, second period Magic lessons, third period GF instruction, fourth period free/training center, fifth period lunch, sixth period Field training, and seventh period study hall."  
  
"Well at least we are in some classes together. Man this place really sucks," Carie groaned.  
  
"Yeah," Jess agreed. " I wanna go home."  
  
"Let's go to bed. Maybe tomorrow 'll be better," Carie suggested hopefully.  
  
"Sounds like a plan."  
  
---  
  
a/n: Sorry for delayed posts, but with fried brains and lack of inspiration, it has been very hard. Okay...Lame ass excuse...Whatever...Review anyways! 


	8. Weapons Are Fun

**_Author's notes_**: AHH! We're sososo sorry for not updating! But can ya blame us? We're slackers and lazy people. Heh. Anyways, here is the seventh chapter of _Total Insanity_ for you!  
  
  
  
  
  
**Weapons are Fun**  
  
The next few days for the twins were spent working on homework and various other projects that their teachers had assigned. Jess and Carie had spent all their spare time in the dorms working like mad on all of it. Sometime that Monday, a very grumpy Jess slammed her GF studies textbook closed and looked at Carie.  
  
"Insane. Insane, I tell you!!" she nearly shouted.  
  
"Communism is workin' against us, Jess," Carie said, pinching the bridge of her nose.  
  
"Not just communists, Carie...Communists Nazis." She sighed. "First lesson of the day is," she looked at her schedule, "weapon training! Oh joy!! Weapons are fun."  
  
"Yeah, um, Communists and Nazis hate each other. The theories behind them oppose the other so it really doesn't wok like that." Carie corrected causing her sister to glare. "But yeah, on a 'lighter' note." Carie agreed, "We should wreak some havoc at lunch or something. I've been itching for some punishment by Commander Leonhart."  
  
"Excellent idea." Jess said with a smirk. "Let's plan on the way to class. Let's go." With that the girls grabbed their books and headed off toward class.  
  
"Well," Jess started, "we get our weapons today...Right?" Carie nodded. "We still have those plastic Gunblades and fake blood pouches, right?" Again, her twin nodded. "You catchin' on?"  
  
"Staged fight?" Carie asked.  
  
"What else would we do with fake blood and Gunblades?" Jess asked sarcastically.  
  
"Good point. And it's in 'Aunt' Quisty's class. So it'll be that much funnier. I never did like her all that much."  
  
"Yeah, but Uncle Seifer was... DROOOOOOL..."  
  
"MMMHMMM!"  
  
They endured all of weapons training class, in which they tested out their new weapons. Jess and Carie had chosen the gunblade as planned. They sat next to each other and listened to Quistis drone on for a few more moments, then looking at each other, they nodded to signal the beginning of their 'reign of terror'. Jess got up and looked down at Carie when Quistis took her next pause.  
  
"This Garden ain't big enough for the two of us," she said in a fake western accent.  
  
Carie stood up as well. "And what're you gonna do 'bout it?" she asked in another fake western accent, poking Jess lightly in the shoulder with her blade.   
  
The class stared in awe as the two sisters glared at each other. Quistis had gone rather pale as she too stared at the twins, not at all in awe. Jess reached down to her side and unsheathed a gunblade that looked stunningly real.   
  
"I'm callin' you out."  
  
"Draw at ten paces."  
  
The twins took ten steps back away from each other and glared as some random student in the back yelled "DRAW!" Jess lunged forward and pierced Carie's heart with the gunblade. There was a round of gasps as Carie twitched violently and fell to the floor, blood pouring from her heart.  
  
Jess wiped her brow as if it had been a long and tiring duel and turned to face the class. "This Garden ain't big enough for the two of us."  
  
"Are you callin' me fat? BITCH!" Carie's supposedly dead body sprang back to life, met by some screeches from the class, and attacked Jess.   
  
Blood spurted from the brunette's body as she let out a cry of pain. She staggered backwards and lashed out wildly at Carie. There was another eruption of blood as the darker haired girl fell to the floor once again. Jess grasped her heart, and she too fell over. She pretended to be dying, completely with tears and raspy breaths.   
  
Quistis raced over to the two and knelt down between them. "Oh my Hyne! Are you okay?!"   
"Tell...daddy...I love him....and tell...mommy...she's still...a communist." Jess's eyes fells shut and Quistis looked particularly faint.   
  
"NNOO!!" She looked frantically between the two twins. She shook Carie, who popped one eye open.   
  
"Dude, seriously you need to stop that! I'm trying to fake my own death here, for Hyne's sake!"   
  
Jess suddenly sprung up and glared at Carie. "You son of a bitch! You ruined it!"   
  
"Whoops..." her twin shrugged with fake remorse.   
Quistis immediately got up and glared at them. Her face suddenly turned bright red. "Carie...Jess...Dincht...Commander's..." she sputtered. "GET OUT NOW!" she shrieked, pointing at the door.   
  
The twins scrambled to their feet and ran to the door, trying to suppress a fit of laughter. Jess wiped some of the fake blood off her face after they were a good ways away from the classroom, then burst out laughing. Carie joined in as they made their way to the elevator.   
  
"Fake blood pouches," Carie said after her fit of laughter had been subdued to a grin.   
"Three gil," Jess added. "Fake Gunblades?"   
  
"Twenty-five gil. The look on ol' Quisty's face?"   
"Priceless!" they said in unison, stopping in front of the elevator.   
  
"Think we should go get cleaned up before we go up there?" Jess said, trying to rub a spot of fake blood off her shirt.   
  
Carie looked down at her shirt, and began to say something, but was cut off by an angry voice over the intercom.   
  
"CARIE AND JESS DINCHT, REPEAT TO THE COMMANDER'S OFFICE, NOW!! I DO NOT NEED TO REPEAT MYSELF!"   
  
"Guess not!" Jess said, attempting an innocent look as she jumped in the elevator.   
  
Carie followed and hit the button to go to the third floor. "Well, looks like we finally get some punishment from Commander Leonhart." Jess licked her lips and nodded. "I'm up from cruel and unusual." 


End file.
